1 00:00:04,666 --> 00:00:07,583 - Welcome to Seven Graces Surgical Center 2 00:00:07,666 --> 00:00:09,166 and Luxury Aftercare, 3 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:11,666 where you'll be treated by our world-class team 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,583 of surgeons and medical staff. 5 00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:15,375 Once your procedure is complete, 6 00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:17,250 you'll heal in total comfort 7 00:00:17,333 --> 00:00:20,083 and complete privacy in our award-winning wellness center. 8 00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:25,583 Seven Graces, it's not just recovery, it's rejuvenation. 9 00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:30,000 Welcome to Seven Graces Surgical Center... 10 00:00:30,083 --> 00:00:33,041 - Okay. [sighs] 11 00:00:33,125 --> 00:00:35,083 - Fuck! 12 00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,333 - Once your procedure is complete, 13 00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:40,416 you'll heal in total comfort and complete privacy 14 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,583 in our award-winning wellness center. 15 00:00:42,666 --> 00:00:46,166 Seven Graces, it's not just recovery, it's rejuvenation. 16 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,083 [phone line trilling] 17 00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:50,208 [phone buzzing] 18 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,833 - This is Marcus. - Hey, friend! 19 00:00:52,916 --> 00:00:54,833 - Who is this? - It's Ava. 20 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,416 You don't have my number saved? 21 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,708 - No. What's up? Is everything okay with her? 22 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:00,166 - Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, absolutely. 23 00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,000 Everything's great. Deborah's great. 24 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,166 She's just, um, she's still in surgery. 25 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,333 I was just wondering-- 26 00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:06,083 You know what? I was wondering. 27 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,333 Do you--do you happen to know her, um, her phone passcode? 28 00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:11,125 - And why do you need that? - Um, you know, 29 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:13,583 I was actually thinking I should probably 30 00:01:13,666 --> 00:01:15,625 take some goofy selfies on her phone. 31 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,875 You know, just to cheer her up when she wakes up. 32 00:01:18,958 --> 00:01:20,708 - Well, while that definitely sounds like something 33 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:22,166 she'd love, I can't help you. 34 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,291 I don't have the code. She uses Face ID. 35 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,166 - [whispered] Face ID, fuck! 36 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:27,833 Um, you know what, Marcus? 37 00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:29,541 You can--you can go ahead and save my number, 38 00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:31,958 if you want, 'cause you know, we're kinda becoming 39 00:01:32,041 --> 00:01:34,125 [laughs] friends. 40 00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:36,250 - I will. - Okay, bye. 41 00:01:39,958 --> 00:01:42,041 Oh, no. 42 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,333 Should've tried 'em on. 43 00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:48,291 [gentle music] 44 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,083 - Girl, did Andre try 45 00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:52,625 to sell you some of his edge growth formula? 46 00:01:52,708 --> 00:01:54,000 - Mm-hmm. 47 00:01:54,083 --> 00:01:56,000 - Do you think it works? - Do you think it works? 48 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,041 Don't forget, he thinks the earth is flat. 49 00:01:58,125 --> 00:01:59,666 - [laughs] That boy's an idiot. 50 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,333 - Yeah, he's a fool. - Oh, girl. 51 00:02:01,416 --> 00:02:03,208 We gotta stop buyin'-- - Mom, if you're gonna 52 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:04,666 housesit, at least close the door. 53 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,875 - Honey, why are you home? 54 00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:08,833 - Change of plans. 55 00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:11,708 I'm not going anymore. 56 00:02:11,791 --> 00:02:13,375 And Costco, Mom? 57 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:16,000 You said you were having a few people over, not a frat party. 58 00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,291 - I am. I am. I'm--it's not a party. 59 00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:20,791 - Miss Loretta, what's that? 60 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,000 - This? - Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,416 - Party platter. 62 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,666 - This is why your building banned parties. 63 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,375 both: No! No, no. 64 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,541 - We got banned because they're losers and they're jealous. 65 00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:32,333 - They're jealous. - That hole in the wall, 66 00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:33,791 that coulda been made by anything. 67 00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:35,125 - The keg-shaped hole in the wall 68 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:36,416 could've been made by anything? 69 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,166 - That's the one, yeah. 70 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,250 - [laughs] Okay. 71 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,458 - Well, anyway, now that you're here, 72 00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,750 come help me slice fruit for the sangria. 73 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,375 - No, I'm just here to get my camera. 74 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,500 Sanford's showing me some properties in Huntridge. 75 00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:50,125 - Oh, of course. 76 00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:51,625 You got the weekend off from work, 77 00:02:51,708 --> 00:02:53,541 so you're gonna fill it with more work. 78 00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,916 Honey, you have caught a disease from Deborah, 79 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,750 and it's called workaholism. 80 00:02:57,833 --> 00:02:59,750 -Mm, that's bad. - Mom-- 81 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:01,250 - Hm? - Flipping houses for me 82 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,291 is not work, it's pleasure. 83 00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:04,583 - Well, if you love it that much, 84 00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:05,958 why don't you just do it full time? 85 00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:07,291 - Because I helped build Deborah's empire. 86 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:08,791 I'm not gonna walk away from it. 87 00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:10,583 - All that work is why you haven't met someone. 88 00:03:10,666 --> 00:03:12,583 - Oh, okay. - Which really disappoints me, 89 00:03:12,666 --> 00:03:14,625 'cause I wanna go to a gay wedding. 90 00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:16,375 Girl, I've got an outfit that I wanna wear 91 00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:19,041 that the straight people would just not understand. 92 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:21,416 - Oh, um, where are your dog bowls? 93 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,916 - I don't have a dog, 94 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,916 so I don't have dog bowls. both: Mm. 95 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,083 - See, that's gonna be a problem. 96 00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:27,625 - Yeah. - Because I said 97 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,291 that pets were welcome. - Welcome. 98 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,916 - And, um, encouraged. - Encouraged. 99 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,625 - Mm-hmm. - All right. 100 00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:34,458 I've just decided that I'll be staying at Deborah's tonight 101 00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:36,958 and the cleaning lady will be here at noon tomorrow. 102 00:03:37,041 --> 00:03:38,625 - Noon? - Oh, baby-baby, uh, 103 00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:41,500 let's make it 1:00. - Let's make it 2:00, 104 00:03:41,583 --> 00:03:43,833 'cause I wanna sleep in, you know. 105 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,916 - We love you! - Love you, too. 106 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,458 - He's mad. - What's wrong with him? 107 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,250 - [laughs] - Why he don't like dogs? 108 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,583 [knock at door, door opens] 109 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:58,041 - Hi! You look-- 110 00:03:58,125 --> 00:03:59,708 Hi. 111 00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:03,708 - You look like a ball girl at the U.S. Open, 112 00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:05,666 and not one of the fast ones. 113 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,958 - [chuckles] She seems like herself. 114 00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:09,291 - [chuckles] Okay, Deborah. 115 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,875 I'll let, uh, Perla take it from here. 116 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,625 - Perla? No, oh, God, no. - Hello, Miss Deborah. 117 00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:14,791 - Oh, God! Uhh-- 118 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,166 - Are you okay? - Oh, no. 119 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:17,666 - Everything's okay. Miss Deborah and I 120 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,291 just have complicated history, 121 00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:20,666 and she hate me very much. 122 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,166 Okay, let's get you into bed. 123 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,666 Nice and easy. 124 00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,541 How are you feeling, my funny lady? 125 00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:29,958 - Why are you speaking so slowly? 126 00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:32,375 I didn't get brain surgery. - [laughs] 127 00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:35,541 That's a good one. I'll be right back. 128 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:38,833 - Ahh, here. Come here. 129 00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:41,250 - Yeah? - Uh, get her out. 130 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:42,708 - Okay, okay, I will-- 131 00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:45,041 Um, Perla, can we talk outside for a second? 132 00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:46,583 - Yeah, of course. - Okay. 133 00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,625 - Ugh. [sighs] 134 00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:49,666 - Yeah? 135 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,458 - Um, maybe you could see 136 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,875 if there's another nurse available. 137 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:56,291 It's not--it's not personal. - Oh, no, I wish. 138 00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:57,708 No, but we are very booked this weekend 139 00:04:57,791 --> 00:04:59,458 so everybody is assigned. - Oh. 140 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,125 - Plus, Miss Deborah is long time patient. 141 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,625 And she's known for being, um, you know, bitchy. 142 00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:06,250 - Yeah, awful. - Only Perla has special touch. 143 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:07,708 - Oh, wow. Okay. 144 00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:09,583 Um, maybe you could just go 145 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:12,000 and let me handle some stuff for the next couple hours. 146 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,708 - Okay, yeah. I go for a bit. 147 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:16,000 She'll probably be sleeping for next few hours anyway. 148 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,875 Just make sure, if she needs bathroom, 149 00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:19,208 you go with her, okay? 150 00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:20,416 - Ah-- - Because she won't use walker. 151 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,583 Hm? She could faint. 152 00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:22,791 - Yes. Of course. 153 00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,583 I will accompany my boss to the bathroom. 154 00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:26,458 - Okay, good, call me if she starts acting weird, okay? 155 00:05:26,541 --> 00:05:28,208 - Okay, great. I'll--I'll let you know 156 00:05:28,291 --> 00:05:29,500 if she says anything nice about me. 157 00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:31,041 - You funny lady, too. 158 00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:32,666 I take care of you when you get your chin fixed. 159 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,291 - What? Do I need--I need-- 160 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,666 - Okay, bye-bye. 161 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,958 [door closes] 162 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:41,000 [light tense music] 163 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:48,166 ♪ ♪ 164 00:06:04,541 --> 00:06:05,958 - Uhh-- 165 00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:09,041 Ohh, oh. 166 00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:28,541 [dance music playing] 167 00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:35,708 ♪ ♪ 168 00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:43,750 - ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 169 00:06:43,833 --> 00:06:45,166 ♪ ♪ 170 00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,458 - ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 171 00:06:46,541 --> 00:06:49,416 [blender whirring] 172 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,708 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 173 00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:53,291 ♪ ♪ 174 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:55,083 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 175 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:56,875 ♪ Turn around ♪ 176 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,166 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 177 00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,958 - Ew, no. 178 00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,333 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 179 00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:05,041 [sighs] 180 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,750 - ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 181 00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:11,000 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 182 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:13,000 ♪ Turn around ♪ 183 00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:14,666 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 184 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:19,000 [music intensifies] 185 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,041 ♪ ♪ 186 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,666 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 187 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,500 ♪ Turn around ♪ 188 00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:25,125 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 189 00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:27,416 ♪ ♪ 190 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,500 ♪ Feel my needs ♪ 191 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,208 ♪ Turn around ♪ 192 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:34,458 - [sighs] [phone buzzes] 193 00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:41,833 - Hello? - Hi, girl. 194 00:07:41,916 --> 00:07:43,875 Do you mind coming to me tonight to hang? 195 00:07:43,958 --> 00:07:46,291 I lost a contact in the back of my eye 196 00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:48,208 and I think it's a little risky for me to drive. 197 00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:49,958 - Shit. I'm sorry, Kiki. 198 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:51,666 I'm, like, an hour outside of Vegas. 199 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,416 I had to come with Deborah to this weird surgery place. 200 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,083 - Oh, bummer. 201 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,916 It's all good, though. Hope you're getting overtime? 202 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,375 - I'm not, but hey, 203 00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,458 you don't know Deborah's phone passcode, do you? 204 00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,916 - Mm, no. Sorry. Why do you need that? 205 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,208 Oh, did you try her birthday 206 00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:10,166 but ten years earlier than what's on Wikipedia? 207 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,916 That might work. - Of course, I did. 208 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,541 It was the first thing I tried. 209 00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:15,708 But no, I--I just--I had an awful night last night, 210 00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:18,083 and I was really coked up and-- 211 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,875 [sighs] It doesn't matter. 212 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,291 I--I--I just--I left Deborah a voicemail, 213 00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:24,416 and I need to delete it but her Face ID isn't working 214 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,000 'cause she just had surgery and her face is swollen. 215 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,541 - Oh, shit. 216 00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:31,083 Oh, shit! 217 00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:34,458 I have an amazing idea but it's kinda insane. 218 00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,750 - I will try anything. 219 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,750 [jazzy music] 220 00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:46,833 ♪ ♪ 221 00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:50,833 - The museum will be closing in ten minutes. 222 00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:54,250 - Oh, my God! Uncanny. 223 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,958 Wow! Okay. 224 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,083 [clicks] 225 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,083 [panting, laughs hysterically] 226 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:11,416 Whoo! Oh, okay. 227 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,416 Whoo. [clicks tongue] Delete. 228 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,000 Ah, Wow. 229 00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:20,791 [laughs] Deb, you almost had me. 230 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:23,708 Whoo! Ha, ha! 231 00:09:32,541 --> 00:09:35,458 [upbeat music] 232 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:36,500 ♪ ♪ 233 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:39,208 [birds chirping] 234 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,500 ♪ Good morning ♪ 235 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,833 Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought my boss was in here, 236 00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:52,375 not some young woman with perfect eyes. 237 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,500 Ah--no, no, no, no, no. 238 00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:56,000 I'm supposed to walk you to the bathroom. 239 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,958 - [sighs] Come on, you don't have to do that. 240 00:09:58,041 --> 00:10:00,500 - Have to? Get to. 241 00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:02,916 - What's up with you today? 242 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,333 - Nothing, I'm just in a good mood. 243 00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:05,666 7And I was told you were a fainting risk, 244 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:07,416 so either I can accompany you 245 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,208 or we can just get Perla back in here. 246 00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:11,875 - Okay, fine. Fine, fine. 247 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,208 - Fine, I'll wait out here, 248 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:20,041 but I'm still gonna hold your hand. 249 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:23,791 - Oh, Jesus. [sighs] 250 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,958 - Good luck. 251 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:30,791 [toilet lid clatters] 252 00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:35,583 [urinating] 253 00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:37,666 [whistles] Sounds strong. 254 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:38,958 - God! - Oh, no you don't. 255 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,041 No, you don't. 256 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:42,750 Good morning, how are you? 257 00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:44,916 Oh, my God, I love that. 258 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,875 Yeah, can I please have the chocolate chip pancakes? 259 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,333 You want the same? - Pancakes? 260 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,666 - Yeah. - I didn't come here 261 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:52,916 to look worse. 262 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,250 - Hold please. Come on. 263 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,166 You just had surgery. You can have a pancake. 264 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:59,541 Think about it, the yum melted chocolate, 265 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:03,458 the fluffy stacks, the sweet maple syrup? 266 00:11:03,541 --> 00:11:05,666 Do you finish it with whipped cream? 267 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,250 They do. 268 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,791 - Have you never heard the expression 269 00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,250 "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"? 270 00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,166 - Have you never heard the expression 271 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,416 "yum, yum in my tum, tum"? 272 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,416 - What is wrong with you? - A lot. 273 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,750 - Junk food's not worth it. 274 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,250 - Are you seriously gonna deprive yourself 275 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:21,916 of delicious food for the rest of your life? 276 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,750 You're never gonna have a McDonald's french fry 277 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,375 ever again? - No. 278 00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:26,916 - Wow. Well, I hate to say it, 279 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,250 but you have disordered eating. 280 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,958 - It's a classic for a reason. 281 00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:32,541 - [scoffs] Okay, so yeah. 282 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:37,041 Just the pancakes and your healthy start plate. 283 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:38,583 Great. Thank you. And you know, 284 00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,208 I actually do wanna order a couple more things. 285 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,666 - Worth the calories? 286 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,083 - Absolutely. 287 00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:55,416 Huh, okay. Shall we work? 288 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,750 - Yes. Jokes. 289 00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:00,750 [sighs] 290 00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:03,750 Um, I should probably work from the bed, though. 291 00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,291 - Yeah, it's good for creativity 292 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:08,208 and a healthful recovery. 293 00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:10,291 - Yup. Mm. 294 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,625 - All right. Ah, this is better. 295 00:12:13,708 --> 00:12:15,125 - Yeah. - Yeah. 296 00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,000 - Should we close our eyes for a second? 297 00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:19,583 - Yeah, if you want to, yeah. - We'll keep working. 298 00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,458 - Of course, I mean, yeah, we would. 299 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,333 - Okay, so we'll close our eyes for a second, and we'll uh-- 300 00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,000 - Yeah. - We'll think of jokes. 301 00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:30,833 - That sounds good, yeah. We can, um, think of...jokes. 302 00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,166 [exhales] 303 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,125 [doorbell chimes] 304 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,875 - Coming. 305 00:12:48,958 --> 00:12:51,000 Hi. - Hi. 306 00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:53,166 Nice robe. 307 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,500 - Thanks. 308 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:57,166 - So someone called and made an anonymous tip 309 00:12:57,250 --> 00:13:00,375 about the water usage on this property last night? 310 00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:03,375 - Huh! - Huh. 311 00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:05,208 - That's bizarre. 312 00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:07,208 - Can I speak to Ms. Vance, please? 313 00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:09,125 - She's away for the weekend. 314 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:12,041 - So were you going to invite me in, or what? 315 00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:16,791 - Do come in. 316 00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:27,416 [upbeat music] 317 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:34,583 ♪ ♪ 318 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,666 [snoring] 319 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,000 - Wakey, wakey! 320 00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,625 Time to check dressing, my funny lady. 321 00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:47,708 - Perla! - We're working! 322 00:13:47,791 --> 00:13:49,916 Oh, my God. - Come, sit up for me, darling. 323 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,250 - Oh, that's such a creepy way to be woken up. 324 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,791 - Do you see what I mean about her? 325 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,166 - Yes. - All right. 326 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,208 Let's get your tushy back. Thank you. 327 00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:59,041 - Ugh. - How are you feeling today, 328 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:00,791 my funny lady? - I hurt. 329 00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,375 I--I need another Vicodin, please. 330 00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,375 - No, no, no, Miss Deborah. It's not time yet. 331 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:05,875 - Seriously, Perla. 332 00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:09,250 I am in pa--ain. I need more painkiller now. 333 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,666 - You know, I shouldn't. I could get in trouble. 334 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,083 - Please? 335 00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,791 - You know, for you, I give you half, okay? 336 00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:16,666 But it's secret. There we go. 337 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:18,166 - Thank you. - All set. 338 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,458 Anything else I can do, be of assistance? 339 00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:23,083 - No. Good bye. See you later. - I'll be back soon. 340 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,500 - Oh, good. - Bye, honey. Bye, darling. 341 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,208 - Bye, Perla. 342 00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:32,666 Well, at least she gave you more, right? 343 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:33,916 - Mm, please. 344 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,833 It's basically children's Tylenol. 345 00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,750 But my forehead is sore. 346 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:41,458 That doesn't usually happen. Is there a bruise there? 347 00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:42,750 - No. No, nothing at all. 348 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,458 I--I wouldn't even think about it. 349 00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,166 You know, I actually, I have some weed edibles on me 350 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,500 that help me with my cramps, 351 00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:49,416 which, weirdly, I'm having early. 352 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,750 Do you--do you want some? 353 00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:52,583 - No, I don't like marijuana. 354 00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:54,000 I mean, I already feel like crap. 355 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,458 Why would I wanna take something 356 00:14:55,541 --> 00:14:57,041 that makes me feel lazy and hungry too? 357 00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:59,750 - Right, you-- you said you hated "grass." 358 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,416 at that Friar's Club Roast. 359 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,500 You had that bit about how Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young 360 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,125 were such stoners that the only reason 361 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,958 they called their band that is because they wanted 362 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,958 to remember each other's names? - Oh, ha--[laughs] 363 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:11,291 That was funny. 364 00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:12,708 I had completely forgotten about that joke. 365 00:15:12,791 --> 00:15:14,083 - I just saw it the other day, actually. 366 00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:15,625 I'm-- I'm almost done digitizing. 367 00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:17,791 I stayed late a couple nights last week. 368 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,458 It's actually kinda fun. 369 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:20,916 - You know the reason I wrote that was 370 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,791 'cause I had a crush on Graham Nash. 371 00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:25,083 I thought that if he heard it, maybe he'd call me. 372 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,666 - Ooh, Deborah. [laughs] 373 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:29,250 I love that. Did he call? 374 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:32,166 - I don't know. I toured so much that year, 375 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:34,333 I didn't even have a home phone number. 376 00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:37,500 [chuckles] I really--ugh. 377 00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:40,666 You know what? I will take that pot pill. 378 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:43,541 - It's not a pill, it's a gummy, but great. 379 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:47,125 - And you can take one too if you want. 380 00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,791 - I was gonna anyway. [laughs] 381 00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:51,208 - Big surprise. 382 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:52,875 I'm traveling with a dope fiend. 383 00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:54,541 - [laughs] - You know, it's just as well 384 00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:55,833 that Graham Nash never called me. 385 00:15:55,916 --> 00:15:57,208 It wouldn't have worked out anyway. 386 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:58,625 - Oh, no? - I hear he's into 387 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,583 transcendental meditation. - [laughs] 388 00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,333 - What a weirdo. - Freak, yeah. 389 00:16:09,791 --> 00:16:12,083 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 390 00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:14,208 Mm. 391 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:17,166 That was fun. [laughs] - Yes, it was. 392 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,083 - But next time, you can call 393 00:16:19,166 --> 00:16:21,291 my cell phone and not the water tip hotline. 394 00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:23,250 - What do you mean? - Hm. What do I mean? 395 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:26,416 "Hello, there. Uh, I just happened 396 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,250 to be walking my greyhound, Chessica." 397 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,708 - I did not say Chessica. - Yeah. 398 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,250 You said Chessica. Mm-hmm. - No. 399 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,666 [laughter] - My God, Chessica. 400 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:39,000 - This place is so weird. Everything's so nice. 401 00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:41,041 It's all like 600 thread count sheets 402 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,250 you're supposed to bleed and ooze on. 403 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,791 - Oh, let me guess, you don't approve of plastic surgery. 404 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,458 - Honestly, I just keep forgetting 405 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,083 to have a take on it. - [laughs] 406 00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:53,250 - I don't know. Look, it's either good or bad. 407 00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:54,708 I don't have an opinion. 408 00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:57,208 - Thank God. - Now, God I have a take on. 409 00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:59,083 She doesn't exist. 410 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,125 - [laughs] 411 00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,041 Oh, I know. When we go back, 412 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:05,083 let's head back so we can go through the lobby. 413 00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:07,750 They have this amazing cheese and nut spread 414 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:10,625 that they put out every night at 6:30. It's incredible. 415 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,041 - How many times have you been here? 416 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:16,500 - Five, six--no-- 417 00:17:16,583 --> 00:17:18,708 four--no, five. 418 00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:22,333 Five? No, why can't I remember? 419 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,333 - 'Cause you're high. 420 00:17:24,416 --> 00:17:26,958 [gentle music] 421 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:30,500 - I am. [both laugh] 422 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,541 [gasps] I just thought of something really fun to do. 423 00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:33,666 Come on. Come on. 424 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,333 - Perla! Perla! Come here! 425 00:17:36,416 --> 00:17:37,625 You gave her too many painkillers. 426 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,000 - What? - She's not breathing. 427 00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:41,916 - Oh, Miss Deborah! Miss Deborah. 428 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,875 No, no, no, no, no. Miss Deborah? 429 00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:45,458 Please God, no! 430 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,250 - You wish! [laughter] 431 00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,500 - [crying] This is joke to you? 432 00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:54,083 - You should have seen your face! 433 00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:55,666 Oh, God. That was a good one. 434 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:57,375 [laughter] 435 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:58,791 [crying] 436 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,541 - Oh, no, no, Perla. Don't cry, please don-- 437 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:03,208 - How could you be so cruel, Miss Deborah? 438 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,708 You can't do that. It's not funny. 439 00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:06,166 - I know, it was just a joke! 440 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:09,083 I didn't--we didn't mean it. I'm sorry. 441 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:11,041 [crying] 442 00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:14,166 - Why are you crying? 443 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,875 Okay, I don't like this. Perla, you can go. 444 00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:23,416 - [crying] I'm sorry. 445 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,750 - It's not funny! 446 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,375 - I thought it was funny. 447 00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,500 Oh, it's okay. She'll get over it. 448 00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:32,916 I mean, my God, she grew up in Russia. 449 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,500 - [sighs] I'm sorry. 450 00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:37,208 I don't--I don't know why this is coming out now. 451 00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:40,000 I'm just tired and-- I hooked up 452 00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:43,625 with that guy you met at the Casino two nights ago. 453 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:49,041 And the next morning, he-- 454 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:53,750 he killed himself. 455 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,416 - Jesus. 456 00:18:58,041 --> 00:19:00,083 - Look, look on the bright side. 457 00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,583 You know, at least you don't have to wonder now 458 00:19:01,666 --> 00:19:04,958 whether he's gonna call. - [crying] Deborah! 459 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:06,708 - [chuckles] 460 00:19:06,791 --> 00:19:09,041 - I feel so bad. 461 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:11,375 Obviously, for him but also for me, 462 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:14,375 which makes me feel worse because it's not about me. 463 00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:16,791 [sighs] I think shitty things keep happening 464 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:20,000 because I've been a self-centered asshole. 465 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,583 It's all karma. I deserve it. 466 00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:24,458 - Well, I mean you do have room for improvement. 467 00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:26,708 But karma's not real, otherwise my ex-husband 468 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,250 would've been the one to suffer. 469 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,875 Instead of, you know, living a charmed life 470 00:19:29,958 --> 00:19:32,375 and dying peacefully in his hot tub. 471 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:36,000 - Well, not to get too into the weeds or anything, 472 00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:40,541 but he sorta got his when you burned down his house, no? 473 00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:43,750 - I didn't burn down his house. 474 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,250 - What? 475 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:48,541 - It was a fucking dryer fire. I wasn't even there. 476 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:50,791 I had taken DJ to a friend's house 477 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,458 when I found out about him and Kathy. 478 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:56,375 - Hold on, you tell that joke all the time. 479 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,958 - It's a joke. It's not true. 480 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:03,041 - Well, everyone thinks you did it. 481 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,166 - Mm-hmm. 482 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,875 - Why didn't you say something? 483 00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:09,291 - Well, I did say something to everyone back then. 484 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,666 But Frank blamed me, and they all believed him, 485 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,458 you know, including the cops. 486 00:20:13,541 --> 00:20:16,625 You know, Frank even went to the press and bad-mouthed me. 487 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:19,416 If I was crazy enough to torch the house, you know, 488 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,958 the poor guy must have been driven 489 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,666 into the arms of my baby sister. 490 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:26,541 Ugh, whatever. 491 00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,541 Do you know how to play mahjong? 492 00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:30,750 - No. - I could teach you 493 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,291 in 45 minutes. 494 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:33,708 Mm, maybe an hour. 495 00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:36,583 - Hold on. This guy defamed your ass? 496 00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:39,333 He sounds psycho. I wanna fucking kill him. 497 00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:41,791 - Well, he's dead. [chuckles] 498 00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:43,250 He was jealous. 499 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,291 He hated that I was gonna have a late-night show 500 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,625 so he just... 501 00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,208 blew everything up. 502 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,250 He made me the crazy woman who burned down the house. 503 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:56,916 Our sitcom was cancelled, and I was broke. 504 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,666 I know they have boards around here. 505 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,333 - Hey. We're not playing mahjong, all right? 506 00:21:04,416 --> 00:21:06,625 - [whimpers] - So you were broke? 507 00:21:06,708 --> 00:21:09,333 You didn't have any money from your show? 508 00:21:09,416 --> 00:21:10,625 - What can I say? 509 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:14,333 I was a stupid 25-year-old, you know. 510 00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:16,958 I didn't read contracts. Everything was in his name. 511 00:21:17,041 --> 00:21:18,500 And after the divorce, I had to rent 512 00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:22,416 a little studio apartment and basically start over. 513 00:21:23,833 --> 00:21:26,041 You know what the worst part was? 514 00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:27,666 - What? 515 00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:29,625 - I had to start doing my own hair and makeup again. 516 00:21:29,708 --> 00:21:33,916 - [laughs] Okay, that is sad. 517 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,375 - It was tragic. [laughs] 518 00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:37,041 - So anyway, I had to make money, 519 00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:38,416 so I started doing stand-up. 520 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,541 And one night, in this little club, 521 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:42,916 I made this offhand joke 522 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,625 about burning down my ex-husband's house. 523 00:21:45,708 --> 00:21:47,958 It killed. I'd hit a vein. 524 00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:50,833 So I leaned into that joke, even though it wasn't true. 525 00:21:50,916 --> 00:21:54,291 You know, hey, might as well make money off it, right? 526 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:57,708 And I realized that people would rather laugh at me 527 00:21:57,791 --> 00:22:00,250 than believe me. 528 00:22:01,541 --> 00:22:03,666 You know what else? 529 00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:05,625 - What? 530 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:09,833 - I do want a fucking McDonald's french fry. 531 00:22:09,916 --> 00:22:12,041 - It would be my honor. 532 00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:15,208 Where's my phone? Fuck. 533 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,750 - It's good pot. 534 00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:23,875 Wow. - [laughs] I told you. 535 00:22:24,916 --> 00:22:26,708 Now you gotta dip it in the ice cream. It's-- 536 00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:29,250 - Oh, too much. - Too soon. Fine. 537 00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:32,125 - Mm-hmm. 538 00:22:32,208 --> 00:22:36,000 - Mm, my stomach really hurts. 539 00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:40,791 - I wonder why. [laughter] 540 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,750 - Man, Frank musta been a great actor 541 00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:48,791 'cause he seemed like such a good husband 542 00:22:48,875 --> 00:22:51,083 on "Who's Making Dinner?" 543 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:55,625 - He was a good husband. 544 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,250 For a little while. 545 00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:05,625 You know, he made me laugh. 546 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,458 We made each other funnier. 547 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:16,166 It was his idea that we do a stage show 548 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:17,166 about being a couple. 549 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,541 I didn't even think 550 00:23:18,625 --> 00:23:22,833 that that was possible until he said it. 551 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,875 And we got to make it into a TV show. 552 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,166 It was amazing... 553 00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,916 until it wasn't. 554 00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,708 - I know you're not a fan, but 555 00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:43,666 ha-have you considered-- 556 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,166 - Therapy? 557 00:23:46,250 --> 00:23:47,625 I did therapy. 558 00:23:47,708 --> 00:23:50,833 It was part of our custody thingy, you know. 559 00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:55,166 Unfortunately, the guy was less interested in analysis 560 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:56,833 and more interested in feeling me up. 561 00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,458 - Oh, my God! Are you serious? 562 00:23:59,541 --> 00:24:01,375 Ugh! - [laughs] 563 00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:07,000 You know, I had to get, uh, a clean bill of mental health 564 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:09,916 or I couldn't see my little girl, you know. 565 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,666 So, you know, we went on a few dates. 566 00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:16,375 Uh, and then, after a while, you know, I broke up with him 567 00:24:16,458 --> 00:24:19,166 and he--he wanted to do couples therapy. 568 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:22,583 [laughter] - Oh, my God! 569 00:24:22,666 --> 00:24:25,000 Are you fucking serious? 570 00:24:25,083 --> 00:24:26,958 No! 571 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:30,583 Ugh, they always try to get you to do a threesome. 572 00:24:30,666 --> 00:24:33,375 [laughter] 573 00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,458 - That's--you're making me-- [laughing] 574 00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:37,625 I'm gonna--I'm gonna pop a stitch! 575 00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:40,791 [laughter] 576 00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:50,250 - That is absolutely crazy. 577 00:24:50,333 --> 00:24:54,000 - Well, that was just the '70s. [laughs] 578 00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:56,250 And you haven't even heard about when the Vatican 579 00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:57,333 had it in for me. 580 00:24:57,416 --> 00:24:59,708 - What? - Yes. [laughs] 581 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:04,250 - You have to talk about this in your act, all of it. 582 00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:07,750 I mean, this shit is insane and no one has any idea. 583 00:25:07,833 --> 00:25:10,750 - [laughs] No, no one wants to hear me 584 00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,291 complain about the past. 585 00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:14,750 Also, I told you. Nobody believed me. 586 00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:16,291 - Come on. 587 00:25:16,375 --> 00:25:18,500 You can change your face but not your act? 588 00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:20,666 - It's cha-- I didn't change my face. 589 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:22,041 I refreshed it. 590 00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,291 That's something that you should remember. 591 00:25:24,375 --> 00:25:26,083 Refresh, don't redo. 592 00:25:26,166 --> 00:25:28,958 - People would want to hear this, okay? 593 00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:31,291 People either want raw honesty 594 00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:35,291 or fuckin' ASMR videos of girls eating soap. 595 00:25:35,875 --> 00:25:37,375 - I have no idea what that means. 596 00:25:37,458 --> 00:25:38,875 - I'll tell you later. 597 00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:41,250 People don't know half the shit that you've done. 598 00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:43,916 You were almost the first woman to host a late-night show. 599 00:25:44,041 --> 00:25:47,208 - Oh, operative word being "almost"! 600 00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:48,958 It's sad. It's all just sad. 601 00:25:49,041 --> 00:25:50,375 Is that why you want me to talk about it, 602 00:25:50,458 --> 00:25:53,125 'cause people think it's highbrow now 603 00:25:53,208 --> 00:25:54,916 to tell sad stories? 604 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,333 - No, I think you should say it because it's the truth 605 00:25:57,416 --> 00:25:58,708 and it might just be nice 606 00:25:58,791 --> 00:26:00,833 to finally fucking say it out loud. 607 00:26:00,916 --> 00:26:02,708 You owe yourself that, I think. 608 00:26:05,041 --> 00:26:07,208 - But it's not funny. [laughs] 609 00:26:07,291 --> 00:26:08,708 - We've been laughing. 610 00:26:08,791 --> 00:26:12,458 - That's because we're stoned. [laughs] 611 00:26:12,541 --> 00:26:14,416 - Yeah. 612 00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,625 But you can make it funny. 613 00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:19,750 You can make anything funny. 614 00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:28,791 - I think I did irritate my stitches. 615 00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:30,000 Can you get me an ice pack? 616 00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:31,666 - Yeah. 617 00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:33,583 Oh, fuck! - Ava! 618 00:26:33,666 --> 00:26:35,833 - Oh, my God! I think something's really wrong. 619 00:26:35,916 --> 00:26:37,208 - Are you joking? Are you joking? 620 00:26:37,291 --> 00:26:38,583 - No! - What do I do? 621 00:26:38,666 --> 00:26:40,958 Do I call goddamn Perla? She's-- 622 00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:43,375 - Oh, my God! [coughing] 623 00:26:44,166 --> 00:26:46,125 - Deborah? - Perla! 624 00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:48,125 Perla, call an ambulance! - Okay, if this is 625 00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:49,583 one of your jokes, I'm not buying it. 626 00:26:49,666 --> 00:26:51,458 - No, it's not a joke! She's in agony! 627 00:26:51,541 --> 00:26:52,791 Call an ambulance! - I don't believe you! 628 00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,125 - Are you a fucking nurse, or what? 629 00:26:54,208 --> 00:26:55,416 - I'm a fantastic nurse! 630 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:56,833 I won award two years in a row! 631 00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,666 - Get her an ambulance! 632 00:26:58,750 --> 00:26:59,875 - Ahh! 633 00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:01,583 I'm calling an ambulance! 634 00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:04,916 - Do you have any drugs in your system? 635 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,250 - Uh, cocaine, uh, molly-- 636 00:27:10,333 --> 00:27:12,708 - Marijuana. - Marijuana, yeah, marijuana. 637 00:27:12,791 --> 00:27:14,708 - Wow. - Yeah. 638 00:27:14,791 --> 00:27:16,041 - Sounds fun. - Yeah. 639 00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:17,541 - Sounds like you're dehydrated. 640 00:27:17,625 --> 00:27:21,166 - No. No, I drink, like, a glass of water a month. 641 00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:23,708 I'm always dehydrated. This is way worse. 642 00:27:23,791 --> 00:27:26,041 It--I think it's my appendix. 643 00:27:26,125 --> 00:27:30,416 - [chuckles] Miss, I know everyone has the internet now 644 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,708 but leave the diagnosis to me, hm? 645 00:27:32,791 --> 00:27:35,041 All right? You just need fluids. 646 00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:42,166 - Hey, listen to her, you little prick. 647 00:27:42,250 --> 00:27:43,958 You're gonna examine her appendix then do a scan, 648 00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,583 and you're gonna do it quickly. 649 00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:47,375 I am very litigious. 650 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:49,041 And I would love nothing more than to bury you 651 00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:52,000 in more debt than medical school ever could. 652 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:55,250 - RogerLynn, let's get a CT scan 653 00:27:55,333 --> 00:27:59,083 on Ms. Daniels, please. -CT! 654 00:27:59,166 --> 00:28:01,666 - Thank you. - You are welcome. Okay. 655 00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:03,791 - Yes. Bye. 656 00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:11,666 [phone buzzes] 657 00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:18,208 - Hello? - I got Perla again. 658 00:28:18,291 --> 00:28:19,791 - Oh. - [laughs] 659 00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:23,416 - Otherwise? - It's good. 660 00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:25,750 I mean, I think we got a lot done. 661 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:27,833 - Good. 662 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:30,625 - Oh, I got you those pecan rolls you like. 663 00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:33,791 - Thank you. 664 00:28:33,875 --> 00:28:35,416 - So can you run me through the schedule 665 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:36,791 for Friday's shoot again? 666 00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:40,250 - Sure. Friday-- 667 00:28:40,333 --> 00:28:42,916 [siren blares] 668 00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:50,666 - Hm. 669 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:52,000 Hi. 670 00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:54,125 - She lives! 671 00:28:54,208 --> 00:28:58,750 - What happened? - You had emergency surgery. 672 00:28:58,833 --> 00:29:01,625 You had an ovarian cyst that burst. 673 00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:04,583 - Oh, Jesus. - But you're gonna be okay. 674 00:29:06,083 --> 00:29:07,791 I'm glad you're awake, though. 675 00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:10,291 I just remembered something that happened a long time ago. 676 00:29:10,375 --> 00:29:14,375 I had to do a set in Spanish at El Matador in Tijuana. 677 00:29:14,458 --> 00:29:16,666 And I killed, which was weird 678 00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:18,708 because I don't speak a word of Spanish. 679 00:29:18,791 --> 00:29:21,666 Apparently, one of my boobs was out. 680 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,750 - [laughs] 681 00:29:23,833 --> 00:29:25,916 Wait, though. Don't--don't make me laugh. 682 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,541 You're gonna ruin my stitches. 683 00:29:27,625 --> 00:29:30,541 - Oh, you don't have stitches. It was laparoscopic. 684 00:29:30,625 --> 00:29:34,583 - So you're considering it? 685 00:29:34,666 --> 00:29:36,041 What I pitched. 686 00:29:37,583 --> 00:29:39,333 - No. 687 00:29:39,416 --> 00:29:42,000 But maybe I'll sprinkle in a few stories, 688 00:29:42,083 --> 00:29:44,375 you know, on a Wednesday. 689 00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:48,083 Anyway, I will forever love the Tijuanans because apparently, 690 00:29:48,166 --> 00:29:51,166 they were trying to warn me about my boob the entire show. 691 00:29:51,250 --> 00:29:54,041 You know, I thought that "teta" meant "encore." 692 00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:56,916 - [laughs] - Really, more? You want more? 693 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,750 Yeah, I'll bet they wanted-- they wanted the other boob out! 694 00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:03,291 Oh, my God. Oh, and then the bus ride back. 695 00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:05,125 Oh, the driver was in a mood. 696 00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:08,250 I asked him really nicely to drive the bus with both hands, 697 00:30:08,333 --> 00:30:10,208 'cause he was stuffing his face with this giant, 698 00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:11,875 disgusting sandwich with one hand 699 00:30:11,958 --> 00:30:13,541 and driving with the other. - [laughs] 700 00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:14,833 - So he didn't like me until he found out 701 00:30:14,916 --> 00:30:16,041 that I was doing a comedy show. 702 00:30:16,125 --> 00:30:17,541 - ♪ Now that you know ♪ 703 00:30:17,625 --> 00:30:19,208 ♪ It's nowhere ♪ 704 00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:23,416 ♪ ♪ 705 00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:26,041 ♪ What's to stop you coming home? ♪ 706 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:30,583 ♪ ♪ 707 00:30:30,666 --> 00:30:34,541 ♪ All you gotta do is go there ♪ 708 00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:37,333 ♪ ♪ 709 00:30:37,416 --> 00:30:40,916 ♪ Then you really realize what's going down ♪ 710 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,291 ♪ ♪ 711 00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:48,583 ♪ Went to a strange land searching ♪ 712 00:30:48,666 --> 00:30:53,000 ♪ ♪ 713 00:30:53,083 --> 00:30:56,041 ♪ For a truth you felt was wrong ♪ 714 00:30:56,125 --> 00:31:00,041 ♪ ♪ 715 00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:04,583 ♪ That's when the heartache started ♪ 716 00:31:04,666 --> 00:31:07,541 ♪ Though you're where you wanna be ♪ 717 00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:09,791 ♪ You're not where you belong ♪ 718 00:31:09,875 --> 00:31:17,000 ♪ ♪ 719 00:31:17,050 --> 00:31:21,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0